There are some benefits to beginning the divorce process under the guise of a trial separation.
It makes it easier for the deliveror to announce his or her intention to end the marriage.
It minimizes the emotional devastation to the “unsuspecting” spouse and eases them into the divorce process.
It makes it easier for both partners to tell friends and family about the lack of harmony in their marriage. A “trial” separation is much easier to announce and believe, and is much less disgraceful.
The downside to taking the easy way out and referring to the first phase of your divorce as a trial separation, is that it lulls the unsuspecting spouse into a state of false hope and inaction and often causes the divorce to take longer than it should.
The deliveree spouse cannot reasonably be expected to discuss such final items as property division and support until he or she has has ample opportunity to come to grips with the fact that a divorce is imminent. The longer it takes for reality to set in, is the longer the divorce will take.
It takes a considerable amount of courage to “drop the bomb” on one’s spouse and announce that you want a divorce. To the deliverer of this dreaded message, the actual making of the announcement often seems more painful than continuing to live in an unhappy marriage. Consequently, we are inclined to avoid having this conversation and some of us are successful in avoiding it for decades.
