This is the fourth in a series of posts that reveals how judges, lawyers, mediators, and other divorce insiders persuade their own spouses to agree to cooperative, out of court settlements.
Be sure to give your spouse an uninterrupted opportunity to explain their settlement position.
When they first begin to tell you where they are coming from, be sure to let them speak for at least 45 seconds straight. This gives them a sense that you are interested in hearing their side.
Acknowledge their point of view and try to agree with them whenever you can. However, if the situation fits, preface any such statement of agreement with some reasonable explanation of why your conclusion may differ from theirs. For example, “I can see why you are asking such a stiff price. This makes sense based on what you have been told, but I think my experience brings me to a different conclusion…”
Accept that your spouse see will things differently. Your spouse has had different life experiences than you and will likely perceive the facts supporting his or her responsibilities or entitlement differently from the way you perceive them.
Specifically, they will invariably interpret the facts in a way that is favorable to them and unfavorable to you. This is a perfectly normal part of human interaction and we should not be surprised when it happens.