Persuading Your Spouse to Settle Out of Court
It is very hard for divorcing partners to persuade each other – on their own – to agree to a settlement. Even when both parties seek to be reasonable, desire a smooth negotiation process and wish for a less painful, less expensive divorce, it is not likely to happen that way.
In order to settle quickly and out of court, we must be able to persuade our spouse to accept a settlement agreement. But our spouse will only say yes if it benefits him or her to do so. We will not be able to explain the benefits because our spouse will not listen to reason.
They will not listen to reason because society never taught us how to give them a reason to listen.
How does this happen? It is because we have been going about divorce all wrong. We thought we could get through to our spouse by explaining the reasonableness of our position. But this does not work; a century of divorce wars proves it. The fact of the matter is that the only way to get through to our spouse is by listening to the reasonableness of their position.
You listen until their stance begins to soften and their thinking becomes malleable. Try not to argue with them; just listen until they discover that compromise doesn’t mean losing. Listen until their mind opens and allows them to consider other solutions that they may also find acceptable.