Once the initial sting of the “D” word has cooled, the parties of a capsizing marital relationship must start reaching for a lifeboat in order to save what is best for them and for their family unit.

DuPage County collaborative law and cooperative divorce law have emerged as powerful alternatives for divorcing partners. These approaches make it easier for the parties to restructure their relationship, and better enable them to protect their family and finances.

“The lawyer’s role has morphed from litigators, to guardians of the process,” notes Gary Direnfeld (MSW, RSW), a Canadian social worker deemed an expert in custody and visitation matters by Courts in Canada. “Family law is no longer a zero sum proposition, but is now win-win.”

Now is the time to reach for the lifeboat. It’s time to plan and think. Every word counts in a settlement discussion. This is why so many attempts for an early DuPage County divorce settlement fall apart unnecessarily.

Simply wanting a less painful and less expensive divorce is not enough to guarantee a smooth settlement. Collaborative law and cooperative divorce law processes are now available to help the couples residing in Chicago and DuPage County. These processes provide valuable guidance to divorcing couples by showing them how to keep their divorces on time and on budget.

Society has recognized that marital relationships may change, but they don’t end. Children are often better served by parental relationships that remain respectful. “For those who see past the anger, there is now a myriad of alternative dispute resolution options,” adds Direnfeld.

Exerting a genuine willingness to understand the reason behind the other spouse’s position is vital to coming to terms with a settlement that works well for everyone. Before couples become entrenched in their dispute, it’s important to seek guidance for both financial advice and family support.

Divorce involves restructuring; and restructuring requires listening. This often means listening until both spouses realize that compromise does not mean losing- it means finding a workable solution. However, coping with the listening process is not an easy task. Take time to listen to the sounds of your divorce. Are you making all the noise, or are you listening?

Don’t dive into litigation; take a long hard look at the full range of divorce options that are now available to help you restructure your family relationship in as healthy and as positive a way as is possible.

The tough and unyielding premise of the words… “I’ll see you in court!” are hardly productive when it comes to concluding a faltering marital relationship. Turning to divorce litigation in the heat of anger usually results in a brutal reality that includes combative behavior, bad attitudes and a defining loss to all concerned.

Soon-to-be-ex partners find themselves caught up in a legal system that sees only black and white. There is no consideration of feelings or emotions. As a result, divorcing parties fall victim to the legal system, which often causes additional emotional devastation.

Fortunately, there is such a thing as a “friendly divorce”. This non-adversarial, non-confrontational approach to an age-old problem most importantly addresses the basic human need to be understood.

“Practitioners of Collaborative Law and Cooperative Divorce Law offer a more respectful way to resolve family disputes,” says Gary Direnfeld (MSW, RSW), a Canadian social worker deemed an expert in custody and access matters by Courts in Canada.

Direnfeld explains that through the assistance of collaborative professionals, “Neither side is bent on tearing down the other, but conversely, directed towards leaving relationships as intact as possible.”

This approach to divorce or legal separation in DuPage County creates a sense of safety instead of fear and facilitates the chances of an early settlement. It also helps insulate children from the dispute and puts the divorcing parties in control. Working through a divorce with a “friendly” approach also requires less healing time as it does not inflict new and unnecessary pain.

“At heart the collaborative law and cooperative divorce settlement models develop consensus between the parties for a mutually acceptable settlement,” said Direnfeld. “The process is thought to provide for more durable outcomes while maintaining the integrity of the participants.” Settlement issues can include whatever must be determined – spousal support, DuPage County child support, the ongoing care of children, and the division of assets.

Maintaining control of these emotional issues is a direct contrast from traditional court system scenarios in which both parties often retain their own financial and custody experts. Recommendations from a third party often do not reflect the position of either party and can easily result in additional conflict.

Keeping divorce out of the court system is becoming a favored option as divorcing partners find help from collaborative divorce lawyers. This less intrusive process helps in procuring a faster and more affordable settlement, not to mention the fact that it reduces trauma to the family unit.